Mr. Potty

I have a new best friend.

His name is Mr. Potty.

I have been away for awhile. Not by choice really. First it was due to examination week. With my promising 1st semester results, I opted to take extra papers for the 2nd semester thinking that if I just push myself a little bit more, I could finish my course in a shorter duration of time. At the end of the day, I find myself buried beneath piles and piles of assignments and series of tests and furthermore, as it was a shorter semester (because of the Ramadhan and Syawal) we even had classes on weekends to ensure that the syllabus can be finished within the time stipulated. In other words, my days were filled with either work, classes or group discussions. My social life for me, in short, was sacrificed in the name of education. Furthermore, I had registered for myself to take the MUET exams - a pre-requisite by the Ministry of Higher Education for all uni students to sit for this exam while pursuing tertiary education.When the exams timetable was published, to my ultimate horror, I find myself
squashed back to back up to 3 papers in 2 consecutive days - and they were all core papers
which means if I were to fail any of the two papers, I will certainly be dismissed from the course.

Bloody hell, what in God's-green-earth have I gotten myself into?!!!

Long story short, after my exam week was over, I got myself pretty sick. First, from
shock - apparently just as my exam finished, the sale at Jaya Jusco Deparmental Store had just started and I thought, naively at that time, that I would buy myself some things just to make up for all the outings I have sacrificed while studying. At the end of the day, after 3 consecutive days of shopping, I had spent more than half of my savings and my bank account is very well on its way of being depleted of its resources. All the nice, warm and fuzzy feeling that I had experienced while busy shopping around, working through the merry crowd of crazy shoppers quickly turned my stomach into knots and left an awful feeling in my mouth - I was literary going to throw up at when I saw the amount of balance left in my account!!!

What I had not anticipated was that the stomach churning and the nausea would last me up to 3 weeks!! My stomach could not keep any food in for long. It's either I would throw up after 5 minutes after my finished meal or I would run straight to bathroom - to answer the call of nature. Apparently, it was a rather looonng call of nature and it was routine for me fort he next three weeks until there is nothing else left in my tummy to be thrown out. That is how I found my new best friend, Mr Potty. Without fail, I would be spending most of my time with him, especially at night - moreover after every meal. ( I would like to think that it is a male - just because I think a male potty would have a stronger resilience and durability rather then a female potty).

God, what in the world am I talking about here? Going on and on about my experience with the
toilet?!@#$%^&*!!! Aarrghhhhh. Gross!!!.

By the end of the 3rd week, after being screamed at by the family for my determination not to seek medical treatment from the specialist ( I was actually feeling quite happy as the diarrhoea had made me loose 5 kg in one week ) and after my bottom has resembled somewhat like the bottom of a baboon, I then got myself admitted at one of the prominent hospitals in Subang for further tests. Frankly speaking, I really think that they - the hospital - should start a reward program for all its patients. By the looks of it, my clan could very well be one of the reasons why they prosper so well. Practically almost everyone in my family has at one point in their life been admitted there for a all sorts of sickness - from my late grandfather, to even my nieces. I would like to suggest that they award us points everytime we visit them or get ourselves admitted and the points in return, would allow us to redeem gifts - a free meal, or discounts on admission and medicine. I really think that it would be beneficial for all - a win win situation, wouldn't you say so yourself? :)).

After 2 days in the hospital, I got discharged for good behaviour ( I am, of course referring to my bowel, what else?). The doctor concluded, after running a series of tests, that I infact had a severe case of infection which caused the Irritable Bowel Syndrome. After tones of medicine and a long list of diet intake, I returned back home after promising the doctor that I would utilize the medical leave that was given to me and take due rest for the whole week until I feel better again. I left the hospital with a smile and thoughts of reading my Jane Austen collection and relaxing at home by the pool for the rest of the week, basking under the sun.

Unfortunately, all my hopes and dreams went down the drain as I find myself back in the office the very next day, after finding many messages sent to my mobile phone and one was from the boss asking me when I will be coming back to the office. My incoming tray (not to my surprise of course) was in a very dire state and cracking from all the weight of the pending works all piled up on top of it - and this was all accumulated while I was away from office which was only for 3 days!!. Forfeiting my leave, I went head on tackling my job to complete all of my
pending tasks and I am happy to report that by the following day, it was my boss's incoming tray which was stacked up with all the reports, read proof and arranged - ready for his authorization.

My bowel, unfortunately, was taking its own sweet time to recover. Whilst at work, I still find myself now and then making trips to the ladies so much so when a call for me was left unaswered the receptionist automatically informed the caller that the reason I was unable to take the call was because I was at the ladies. She must be gifted with ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) as my workstation is on the 2nd
floor whilst she is on the ground floor. She would not have known where I was unless there is a hidden spy cam in the office monitoring all the staff and their activities (errrr, is there???). I really have to give her credit for her efficiency and professionalism :).

Then last Saturday, at the office, while I was cursing at my computer for its bloody mood swings (it kept popping out the blue screen especially just when I need to save a report), I received a call from my good friend Lia who is in the same class as I am.
I knew that today she will be attending one of our classmate's wedding in Tanjung Karang. Perhaps
she has called to check with me whether I am joining the convoy to the wedding, I thought. Still cursing under my breath, I clicked the answer button on my mobile phone and took the call.

" Reane, result dah keluar ( results are out ) ... " she said.

My heart must have stopped beating for a second and my hands grew cold as the realisation of her statement hit me right smack in the face.

Damn, how I wish I was still back in the hospital.......


to be continued.....